Awaysick.

Hello there. I'm trying to keep my promise, so I'm back. After being away from work for a year, a lot has changed. A lot. I'm still working in the same office building, but the people is almost entirely new. My old team is breaking apart. Some of them moved to new places, some of them stay. I thought I was one of the left behind, but it turned out I was being moved too. Still at the same office though, just with different team and consequently different job. In a way, it's an opportunity. To learn new things, to escape from fatigue and boredom. But, it's also a challenge. To test my ability. 

Enough about work. Now, it's been 2 weeks since I'm back in this country. Honestly, I don't miss this place. Just some of the people, like my family and friends, and my job (my ability to generate my own income, frankly). I already miss the evening I spent strolling around to restaurant, or park. A simple thing that's impossible to do here. 

My first reaction when D told me that he got accepted to study abroad was I was glad. Glad for him, and for me too. To be able to escape for a while from the routine that's starting to wear me out. Once I read that one of the reason we like to venture to a new place is the anonymity. It is true, I think. There, I was just another face. No one really knows who I am. So they don't have any expectation from me. And I never really comprehend this before, but being free from other's expectation can really be liberating. It drives me to be good, for the sake of myself. 

One thing that I really love about people there is they mind their own business, but they are ready to help others in need. You can dress all you want, speak all you like, as long as you don't disturb other, you are good. Even moslem is minority there, I was lucky I never got any bad experience about being a moslem (other sister there has different story). In fact, I was mostly treated very well. Fellow moslem said salam when we meet, people ready to help with pram, they smile to my daughter and me. That's definitely things I miss.

Now being back here, facade is needed. To be included, to look as though I'm belong.