October Update

This is year has been a wreck this far. That's what people said. With the pandemic going around, everything seems like to descend into madness. But I think people are starting to get used to it, some even take it too far as if nothing is happened. Indonesia is way behind the world in this case. Number is going down in other countries, but here it is still going strong. And it is no wonder. A lot of people here are not taking thing seriously. They neglect the safety protocol, even mocking others who obey it. To me, it shows the lack of empathy. This virus affects people differently, in most case it has light to mild symptoms. But it can be severe to the immunocompromised community member, such as elder people and people with pre existing condition. I can't imagine the nightmare these people experienced and it must be hurt watching other people ignore the safety protocol and any precaution because it also means they don't care about other people's live and well being.

The silver lining of this pandemic is, working from home is a thing now. People finally (forced) realized that you can still get work done even without going to the office. I've been working from home for around 9 months, with occasional visit to the office. And honestly, things are going well. I can do as much work as I did in the office, with the benefit conformity of my home. It's not always like that though. The first few months were the hardest. Especially, when my daughter did not know boundary yet. I often miss the solitary of my desk in the office. Alhamdulillah things are better now. We establish routine pretty well and my daughter is starting to understand that for a certain period, I can't accompany her.  

But things are different for D. He did work from home for some times, but he is starting to go to the office again. Working from home for him means work has no office hour. He worked from dusk till dawn and more. And I was surprised seeing how much meeting he should attend in a day. Sometimes it was all day meeting. I hope he can find something challenging and enjoyable in that crazy hours.

That's all for now. Hope I can catch up soon. Be safe, people.

 

Grow Thicker Skin

I stumbled upon a post on IG about wanting only 1 kid today. And the real punch is when the caption said, "I don't know why I have to justified my reasons to a stranger." That is something that I feel very often, but I guess I've never really comprehend. I just now that it didn't feel right every time I have conversation about not wanting another kid, I feel obliged to give valid reason why I don't want it for now. I don't have to. I don't have to tell them my reasons. It's my life, my body, my decision.

Try to be Content

Can you you believe it's March already? Yet I still haven't got any salary, cheers to bureaucracy. But frankly, I'm not surpsrised. The previous almost same process took around 6 month to finished, so I kinda estimate it will be the same. Eventhogh I still hope it will be faster this time since it affects my other affairs. 

Enjoy Your Day

The wet season is really delivered. I haven't seen sun light since a couple of days till this morning. But it also went quickly, covered by the cloud, again. The view from my office window is the same with yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before: cloudy with fat chance of rain. It's dark and it's cold. Such a perfect day to stay indoor with headphone on your ears. My husband called my headphone 'your anti social device' which is true, eventhough it's not really needed considering there's only 5 people top in this huge room. 

About Child

Hello, long time no update. I plan to do some things today but I'm defeated by the flu. So I just slumped in my chair. Na got the flu first, after days of clogged nose. We went to doctor twice, different doctor. And it seems like her clogged nose was caused by an allergy, eventhough we're still not sure what triggers it. Today she has been back to the daycare, with tears. She refused to come out from the car, and cried when I left her there. 

Mixed of Everything

Felt like crap this morning. Which is my own fault staying up a bit late last night. So I get my morning coffee at not even 8.30 yet. Why is coffee so good? I actually don't think I have a good palate. Same for coffee, I can't really taste which one is the better quality. But I do, have preference. My favorite is long black, with a little sugar. But I don't like coffee that has acidic taste in it. My mother once told me what kind of coffe that is, but I forgot. Ha ha. I just need to remember what brand that I like the most. Lately, my favorit is Robert Tim's Italian Espresso, which I bought tons of it in Melbourne. Sadly, that can't be found here. So I'm gonna need replacement once my stash runs out.

Letter for you #1

Having a daughter in this patriacal community is such a challenge. There is so many things I want to tell her, to prepare her, for how this world will treat her. Let's start with the basic. As a women, you should be independent. Never ever ever depend on a man for your happiness. You don't need a man to be happy. You don't need anyone else to make your life complete. You are your own pupil and you are perfect already.

Make Up Routine

Good morning! I skipped writing for 2 days and the reason is I'm too exhausted to write. I've been doing my delayed work and boy it takes time. It still hasn't finished yet. So I'm gonna do update real quick in this morning before I'm back to that exhausting and energy draining task. 

Some By Mi

Yeay, I finally got my new work laptop. It's not practically new (the screen is cracked, and it's a bit slow), but it's new to me. It's smaller than my old work laptop so I guess it will be easier to brought around. Eventhough I'm moved to another team, I still sit at my old team room because there's only a few people here and the room is vast. You can literally has a row for yourself. This is not a problem for now, and I hope it won't be for next time.

Awaysick.

Hello there. I'm trying to keep my promise, so I'm back. After being away from work for a year, a lot has changed. A lot. I'm still working in the same office building, but the people is almost entirely new. My old team is breaking apart. Some of them moved to new places, some of them stay. I thought I was one of the left behind, but it turned out I was being moved too. Still at the same office though, just with different team and consequently different job. In a way, it's an opportunity. To learn new things, to escape from fatigue and boredom. But, it's also a challenge. To test my ability. 

Enough about work. Now, it's been 2 weeks since I'm back in this country. Honestly, I don't miss this place. Just some of the people, like my family and friends, and my job (my ability to generate my own income, frankly). I already miss the evening I spent strolling around to restaurant, or park. A simple thing that's impossible to do here. 

My first reaction when D told me that he got accepted to study abroad was I was glad. Glad for him, and for me too. To be able to escape for a while from the routine that's starting to wear me out. Once I read that one of the reason we like to venture to a new place is the anonymity. It is true, I think. There, I was just another face. No one really knows who I am. So they don't have any expectation from me. And I never really comprehend this before, but being free from other's expectation can really be liberating. It drives me to be good, for the sake of myself. 

One thing that I really love about people there is they mind their own business, but they are ready to help others in need. You can dress all you want, speak all you like, as long as you don't disturb other, you are good. Even moslem is minority there, I was lucky I never got any bad experience about being a moslem (other sister there has different story). In fact, I was mostly treated very well. Fellow moslem said salam when we meet, people ready to help with pram, they smile to my daughter and me. That's definitely things I miss.

Now being back here, facade is needed. To be included, to look as though I'm belong. 

Greeting

Hello world. So, it turns out I've been leaving this blog for quite some time. What has happened? A lot and nothing, maybe. The one big event happened in 2019 was actually my husband's, not mine. He got a chance to study abroad, which he took starting in 2018. Then our daughter and me follow him abroad starting from last year. We lived together in Melbourne for almost a year. And that's the main event for last year.